Thoreau on Bread

Thoreau writes in reply to H. G. O. Blake’s letter of 27 March 1848:

“We must have our bread.” But what is our bread? Is it baker’s bread? Methinks it should be very home-made bread. What is our meat? Is it butcher’s meat? What is that which we must have? Is that bread which we are now earning sweet? Is it not bread which has been suffered to sour, and then been sweetened with an alkali, which has undergone the vinous, acetous, and sometimes the putrid fermentation, and then been whitened with vitriol? Is this the bread which we must have? Man must earn his bread by the sweat of his brow, truly, but also by the sweat of his brain within his brow. The body can feed the body only. I have tasted but little bread in my life. It has been mere grub and provender for the most part. Of bread that nourished the brain and the heart, scarcely any. There is absolutely none even on the tables of the rich. 

“Baby Tortoise” – D.H. Lawrence

You know what it is to be born alone,
Baby tortoise!

The first day to heave your feet little by little from
the shell,
Not yet awake,
And remain lapsed on earth,
Not quite alive.

A tiny, fragile, half-animate bean.

To open your tiny beak-mouth, that looks as if it would
never open
Like some iron door;
To lift the upper hawk-beak from the lower base
And reach your skinny neck
And take your first bite at some dim bit of herbage,
Alone, small insect,
Tiny bright-eye,
Slow one.

To take your first solitary bite
And move on your slow, solitary hunt.
Your bright, dark little eye,
Your eye of a dark disturbed night,
Under its slow lid, tiny baby tortoise,
So indomitable.

No one ever heard you complain.

You draw your head forward, slowly, from your little
wimple
And set forward, slow-dragging, on your four-pinned toes,
Rowing slowly forward.
Wither away, small bird?
Rather like a baby working its limbs,
Except that you make slow, ageless progress
And a baby makes none.

The touch of sun excites you,
And the long ages, and the lingering chill
Make you pause to yawn,
Opening your impervious mouth,
Suddenly beak-shaped, and very wide, like some suddenly
gaping pincers;
Soft red tongue, and hard thin gums,
Then close the wedge of your little mountain front,
Your face, baby tortoise.

Do you wonder at the world, as slowly you turn your head
in its wimple
And look with laconic, black eyes?
Or is sleep coming over you again,
The non-life?

You are so hard to wake.

Are you able to wonder?
Or is it just your indomitable will and pride of the
first life
Looking round
And slowly pitching itself against the inertia
Which had seemed invincible?

The vast inanimate,
And the fine brilliance of your so tiny eye,
Challenger.

Nay, tiny shell-bird.
What a huge vast inanimate it is, that you must row
against,
What an incalculable inertia.

Challenger,
Little Ulysses, fore-runner,
No bigger than my thumb-nail,
Buon viaggio.

All animate creation on your shoulder,
Set forth, little Titan, under your battle-shield.
The ponderous, preponderate,
Inanimate universe;
And you are slowly moving, pioneer, you alone.

How vivid your travelling seems now, in the troubled
sunshine,
Stoic, Ulyssean atom;
Suddenly hasty, reckless, on high toes.

Voiceless little bird,
Resting your head half out of your wimple
In the slow dignity of your eternal pause.
Alone, with no sense of being alone,
And hence six times more solitary;
Fulfilled of the slow passion of pitching through
immemorial ages
Your little round house in the midst of chaos.

Over the garden earth,
Small bird,
Over the edge of all things.

Traveller,
With your tail tucked a little on one side
Like a gentleman in a long-skirted coat.

All life carried on your shoulder,
Invincible fore-runner.

To Light a Lamp

Think what a mean and wretched place this world is; that half the time we have to light a lamp that we may see to live in it. This is half of our life. Who would undertake the enterprise if it were all? And, pray, what more has day to offer?

Scanning the skyline: telephone wires strung like untuned piano wire over the wireless American graveyard; power lines hum cancerous emissions into the worldtoil;, and there, obstructing the south view entirely, a building with a neon sign inviting us to hospitality for a fee. Flowing through all, the artery of an unmindful river with its invisible pulse guiding the triumph of waters to a larger matter entirely.

The gnarl and twist of trees, some newly-sprung from the tired earth drained of its resources, others standing taller than the rest, leaf-bared leaning over ethereal watery air, and beneath a subterranean world unmindful of our self-spun hell. We see only that which matters most. Where one sees heaven, others draw profit, promising heaven in a bottle.

What more has day to offer? In a French bakery patrons collect at tables, not like Europeans sharing their space with strangers, but remain insular, isolated, drawing back from their impulses, recoiling as if agents of suspicion, almost microbial in their behavior reacting to light and heat. A light flickers over a gathering of white inconsolate faces mouthing vowels and consonants through squirming wormlips. What insolence they fume! What wisdom spouted! I envy their light hearts.

Nearby, a small bookcase with periodic offerings; $5.00 books from a local library. Occasionally, we find art books. Most times it’s self-help. As a writer I’m asked, because some have had the idea to ask of me, why don’t I write self-help books? Why, indeed? The self-help I’d most be in aid of has yet to be written, and so I turn to Walden, or a book of its ilk for wisdom of a universal matter. On the book shelf they materialize, having been given away, I presume, from those that either obtained the help they sought, or by reading it, felt more helpless than before.

The help I seek it is l’aurora in its nature. A new awakening, perhaps, flooding its glorious hour of serendipity causing me to bend a knee in kind obedience to the invisible benefactor. This is a self-help book I’d open gladly to consume its spoon-fed wisdom in eager mouthfuls. But there it’s not; instead we’re shown how to count calories, conquer depression or increase money four-fold as a wellspring of happiness. There’s more to benefit from coffee table art books. Lessons in humility, of objects in art, art in objects, light in darkness, in darkness, light.

We rise from silence and return to silence. What lies between is but an ocean of noise symbiotic to nothing.

Existence clashes with purpose, if purpose there be. Throughout there are those rising above the fray, crushed by wheels of regression. Ever bent on their resolve, resigned to an underclass spent on fortifying blind charities. One would be better suited appreciating simpler things. Or not.

LoVe

The craving sets in; a consuming desire to sate the insatiate.

I lash at the sky, biting the very wind scoring my heart.

It tells me that what I have, I shall forever hold dear.

I have love: she who holds me in darkest night.

I who hold her, in sleeping wakefulness.

I feel it radiate, this yearning so deep.

The ineffable.

The inexpressible.

As lonely as a train call pealing forth in the wilderness.

Stark eyed in midnight lightning.

Yet how do I describe?

I love her. She reaches to me. Lips lush soft rain dropping on my skin.

She lifts me outside of myself, holding a mirror gesturing lovingly – entering inhabiting the cold stranger peering back.

Tendrils of hair, earth on bare feet.

The heat of thunder drumming the summer dark.

This feeling is here.

Everywhere.

I taste it on my lips, succored like electric honey.

My tongue, washing as nectar down a desert throat.

I long to tell it to the world.

I long to share its glory – gospel leaves falling everywhere.

The theatre of my mind applauds its just reward.

I love her.

I love.

Her.